Let’s talk about it
The conversation always starts off chatty and positive when you explain that you’re training for a cycle ride from London to Paris, and then comes the inevitable question;
What charity are you riding for?
Sands
Who are they?
The Still birth and neonatal death Society
Oh!
We’ve had this conversation so many times over the last 6 months, and it’s really shocked us how common losing a baby can be but how little it is talked about. Friends, family members, colleagues, acquaintances have all shared their stories and experiences with us, and every story is heart-breaking. When you’ve known someone for years but never realised what they’ve been through. And yet losing a child doesn’t leave you, you don’t suddenly one day get over it and forget it. It becomes a part of you, and that baby is always remembered and cherished.
As we cycled outside the local supermarket a few months ago as part of fundraising activities, a father walked in and asked why we were cycling and what charity we were raising money for. When we told him his face fell and he walked off. Half an hour later, eyes brimming with tears he generously handed us £20 barely able to speak. It was clear what the charity meant to him and his family. Another couple walked in and handed their children notes to throw in the charity collection bucket, explaining that they’d lost a baby 10 years ago and will always appreciate the support of Sands.
There is also the elderly neighbour who donated a significant amount as his wife lost 2 children many years ago but without any support, as it simply wasn’t available then.
And the stories continue.
Colleagues and even family members and friends have opened up about the loss of their children or siblings. Often, it’s never been talked about in the family, perhaps for many years but it’s felt good to allow people that chance to talk about those they miss.
It’s been somewhat of an emotional few months but the reality of why we’re doing this has been immense. We’re riding for Charlie, for Shermie and for all the angels taken too soon.
So yes, this challenge has been important to raise money for the amazing Sands charity but it’s also about raising awareness and breaking the taboo. It’s about talking about loss and perhaps mending just a little heartbreak along the way. No words can ever describe the pain of losing a child but it’s so important to talk and just as important to listen. So many people have been on their own tragic journey but have wished us well on ours, thank you for reading.
To find out more about how to break the silence visit the Sands site here to read about their latest campaign.
